Saturday, April 24, 2010

A Little Book's, No Beauty and a lot of Bane

So I am almost finished with The Reader. Once I am done I will review. On a side note though, I prefer the movie which is really rare for me. I'll expand on this later.

It's early here. A little after 8am but I have been up since 6:45 or so thanks to the bf phone alarm and the total lack of insulation in the walls of this house. I am shocked and amazed at how loud this house is. It's only maybe 10 years old. You would think it would have been built to soften noise but no, everything echo's and travels here. It's horrible! Worse then any of the places I have ever lived (well, maybe living in the car and the oil fields was as loud...lol) and I have lived in some pretty shabby and horrible places. Anyway, it's loud and sleep has been a ridiculous chore. Then yesterday I get the first electric bill... for 11 days... are you ready? Hold on... $99.99. 11 days. The saddest part is we have been NOT using any of the lighting this house has built in because we have been trying to conserve from day one. It seems that the pool motor is old and when it turns on to clean the pool the electric meter starts spinning out of control. It is suppose to run for 6 hours a day and we have only been running it for 3. So... we can not afford to pay a $300+ bills a month for electric. It just can' happen. Since the pool HAS to be cleaned daily or it will begin to get algae the only conclusion I can come to is that we are going to have to move... again. I have only just finished the move out of the old house 2 days ago... and now this. Plus double bills for the next month or two from the old house and this new one... seriously, kill me now.
As if this isn't enough to worry about I have finally received the ticket info for the two tickets the kid and the bf got last month... $800 total and due in a few weeks... AND with the electric bill yesterday I also received one of the cars registration bill which needs a smog and the other cars reg. with smog is going to show any day now... and then there is prom next month, all the other bills and the transfer fees, the dentist Tuesday ($130.00), food, gas, meds with no insurance.... OMG. I could die in thought alone.
My EDD case is in appeals, my EDD disability case is still in process and may be denied and I can't seem to find any work I can do with my physical limitations and the stress effecting me the way it does these days.
Just to clarify, I am not having a pity party. Seriously I am not. I am actually just attempting to spew as much as I can in the hopes that my mind will settle down some once I have. I have no one to talk to or share any of this with. At least no one that isn't affected by it all too. I have no desire to add any stress to anyone else in our home. The bf doesn't even know about the electric bill yet. The money I had for BK filing is almost gone since I have been using it to make ends meet during the move. I think about cutting every day. That annoys me. I can see and feel it. I haven't acted upon it recently. I have been trying to avoid xanax too. I can't find anyone to hang with either. Maybe I should tattoo PATHETIC on my forehead? LOL... This all just sounds so out of control and I am lost in a sea of what ifs and what do I do's(?). And I live with my Mom for hell's sake! If you know me and you have met my mom then you know how wrong this is... we are truly FIRE (Aries, me) and WATER (Pisces, her) and is obvious every day.
So... if you have any suggestions feel free but please, I beg of you, DO NOT TELL ME That which doesn't kill us makes us stronger or ANY of this type of 'help'. I've heard and said it. I am looking for tangible options.

Love you my BBB Lovelies!!!

Wish me luck on my tidal wave of issues!!

2 comments:

Vampires and Tofu said...

Lemme preface this by saying I don't have anything helpful.
All I can come up with is maybe having the pool drained and covered? Although, to be honest, from what I have heard from my friends who live in houses bigger than those ala La Serena, astronomical electric bills are the norm.
I really wish I had something better to suggest. Try for the grants from MSJC maybe??? It's a few thousand dollars...couldn't hurt to give it a shot.

Anonymous said...

I saw the last people Electric bill and it was $186. That we could do and I have no idea HOW they had such a small bill here if ours is $100 for 11 days. I think they weren't cleaning the pool everyday for the 6 hours but I don't know for sure. We are going to figure it out though. I finally talked to Paul about it, s=which was a relief. We are going to attempt to get my Mom and sit down and try to work it all out. Hope we can figure out a way. The house is loud and expensive but it's also pretty damn nice. LOL. I am feeling more positive. THANKS!!